Praying, Listening, Learning, Waiting

And He said, "Go forth, and stand upon the mountain before the Lord." And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. 

1 Kings 19:11-12

This past week has been rushed, confusing, and caused much anxiousness. A lot of back-and-forth on moving to California, the job offer, the house sale, etc. One day things look promising and exciting, the next day things look like they are coming crashing down on us. Tyler and I both have had plenty of moments of fear and doubt... is the Lord even really doing this thing? 

I suppose this is the way it goes when one decides to walk with Jesus. A very real enemy tries with all of his might to discourage and destroy God's perfect plan. A very persistent flesh demands comfort and consistency. A very compelling world begs for conformity. And a True and Mighty God waits for us to hear His still small voice in the midst of it all. 

I praise God for my husband - the leader of this pack - who strains to hear that Voice. Who waits until he is sure before acting on emotion. Who desires nothing more than to honor his Lord. With all of these million decisions to make, Tyler has been waiting to hear from Jesus before deciding on a single thing.

The door to California has been slammed shut. Praise Jesus for assurance in His will! We prayed for that, along with many of you who have been before the Lord with all of this... that God would either open it wide or slam it shut since we were so unsure. Through different conversations and circumstances, it was quite obvious that it was NOT what the Lord wanted.

Beyond the circumstance, I've been reading about Moses and the Exodus from Egypt in the Word. (It just happens to be where I am right now.) I read this verse the other day: 

And it came to pass, when Pharaoh had let the people go, that God led them not through the way of the land of the Philistines, although that was the closest route; for God said, Lest peradventure the people repent when they see war, and they return to Egypt: But God led them about, through the way of the wilderness of the Red sea: and the children of Israel went up harnessed out of the land of Egypt.

Exodus 13: 17-18.

Israel was only a week's walk away if they chose the route through the land of the Philistines. It was the most direct, easiest route. Thankfully, the LORD knew their hearts. He knew they would retreat to Egypt if they came into war with the Philistines. The children of Israel weren't strong enough in the LORD to handle the battle. Their faith was multiplied exponentially in the wilderness. I always think of the wilderness experience as a negative thing. Like a punishment for discontentment or something. Not so. It was a faith-strengthening time.  These people needed to know the power of God in a real way before stepping into that new land. When all else seemed to fail them, even their leaders Moses and Aaron, the LORD was faithful. I believe this is what the Lord is doing. California would get us a bunch of money real quick and we'd be out of here in a year or so. Maybe He is leading us in a less-direct route in order to build up our faith first. 

Whew... now that we didn't have to deal with CA anymore, the next issue: Tyler was questioning Africa. Was the Lord REALLY calling us to go? Should we pursue selling the house if Jesus wasn't calling us out? More doubt. More fear. More prayer. 

Last night was the first night of the Calvary Chapel Pastor's Conference. I was home with the kiddos, and Tyler was on his way out of the church. A man he had never seen before stopped him. He said, "I don't know you or your situation, but the LORD wants you to know that He's speaking to you. Even when it doesn't seem like He is, He is. He want's you to know that He loves you and He's going to continue to speak to you. Don't think I do this all the time. I've been saved 20 years, and have only done this a handful of times." 

This is how the Body of Christ works. Jesus is the Head. He leads the rest of the Body to move when He says "Move." He gives gifts like this to regular people who are seeking to honor Him. This man was obedient last night. I'm sure before he said anything to Tyler, the man was questioning, "Lord, is this really of you? Should I really go talk to that red bearded guy?" Through his submission, I'm sure he was blessed, and He confirmed God's will for our family. 

So, the house is still for sale. We're still pursuing Africa. I'm sure we'll have plenty more back-and-forth times of decision making. Please continue to pray for us in waiting for God's perfect timing, and to hear the Lord's voice through the wind, the earthquakes, the fire. I don't regret all of the distraction. I praise God for bringing us to absolute surrender on our knees. For leading us to a place we've never been before with Jesus. For causing this strain in my ears to hear His Voice above everything else.