Thankful

Thanksgiving. The day our great country pauses to give God the praise and glory He deserves for all the blessings He has poured out upon us. Well, that's how it started anyway. I'm choosing to do just that. To pause and reflect, noticing the gifts Jesus continually pours out on my life. I am the leper who knew of his destitute state without Jesus' hand upon his life. 

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. 

Luke 17:15

There's so much to thank God for. Too many years ago, I kept a thankful journal. I should get back to it. There were no complete sentences or punctuation. Just a numbered list of little things and big things I purposefully noticed throughout my days that I thanked God for. Things like little fingerprints on the bottom of our glass kitchen table I had to crawl to clean, old withered hands holding mine just before my Great Grandma passed away, and the birds that would always find their way home to sing in the tree beside our house in Port Gibson, NY in Muddy March. 

In reflecting now, the greatest blessing in my life is the relationship Jesus allows me to have with Him through His sacrifice on the Cross. Second on the list is the relationship Jesus has allowed my husband and I to have with each other these past 13 years. Although we both are quick to admit we are FAR from perfect, I believe it is a testimony of God's grace that we have never fought. Not. Even. Once. There has never been an awkward night of silent treatment, no raised voices toward one another, no digging up ugly old baggage. Only grace. We have set some high standards in our marriage that we have learned from watching others and from our Bibles. But we cannot take an ounce of credit for this beautiful love story. If only I could show you who we were before Jesus saw our destitute states -like the leper- and decided to reach out His hand in redemption!! So tonight, the night before Thanksgiving, I am pausing to thank God publicly -IN A LOUD VOICE, as the Scripture says- to thank Jesus for what He alone has done. 

 

 

As a married couple at the ripe ages of barely 20 and 21, we were not old enough to rent a car, so we hitch-hiked around the Caribbean on our honeymoon. We went to a small Bible College, and both worked part time at a hardware store until we added a crib to our one bedroom apartment. 

 

Fast forward: we moved six times, had seven children, lived in a third world country after selling all we ever owned, flew across the ocean on 9 & 15 hour flights with all of our babies -twice, drove clear across the USA (with 7 children), and now here we are. 

 

 

 

 To be honest, we don't have set prayer times that we sit down together and pray. We don't read our Bibles side-by-side with hot coffee in the quiet of the morning. That's my dream life. We usually wake up to our three year old needing a drink or his sister who wet the bed or the dog barking at his shadow. Our home is far from picture perfect. But it's real. On a good day, I can tip toe to my Bible before tiny voices stir the morning awake. We pray together when we are sad or happy or confused or whenever. We sing to Jesus while washing dirty sippy cups and plastic bowls, or when we drive our big white 12 passenger van down the freeways of Southern California beside the Bentleys and Maseratis that have replaced the Farmington, NY tractors and the Kitgum, Uganda bicycles. We just live and breathe naturally, and somehow it's all become super-natural. 

  

Praying for and with each other is most important, but here are some other practicalities we hold to that have proven to be of utmost importance to us. My hope is that God will use the things He has taught us in our marriage to encourage someone else. 

-Humility for both. Recognizing when you're wrong and apologizing quickly- knowing grace is waiting on the other end. 

-When one of us is having a tantrum, (because it happens, right?) the other person closes their mouth and prays for the adult-toddler until the tantrum passes and they realize what a fool they are being. Not with an attitude. Just don't feed the flame.

-We are never alone in a car, home, room, restaurant, etc. with a person of the opposite gender. As innocent as it may be- just no. 

-Never ever ever have we brought up past sin. It's forgiven. Period. 

-If there are no expectations, no one can get disappointed. 

-Flexibility. This afternoon I texted Tyler and asked him what he wants to do tonight. At 3:00 he said, "Lets go to the Grand Canyon." We left less than 3 hours later. We should get there around 2am. That's extreme. 

-Be extreme! Ha! (Really.)

-Patience. Lots of it. 

-WE LAUGH! A lot of that too! I can take things way too seriously. I work all day trying to teach little people nice manners. Tyler sits down at the dinner table and says, "On three, everyone clap and scream as loud as you can. One, two, three, AHHHHHHH!" What?! I even JUST said let's sit nice and quiet with good manners at dinner... bah! We laugh. 

-We share the parenting equally. The less-tired one of us tucks in all the little people and prays for them. I have them home with me all day. Tyler takes one child out on a "date" every Thursday. Once a week may seem excessive for kid dates- but that means each child goes every seven weeks! It's very special and blesses me like crazy to see his love for each of them individually. 

-We work together and play together. This is more of a family strengthener than just marriage. Saturday is family day. We hold this so dear. We have one day that we do something with all of us together. Usually outside letting kids run free. It's hugely important to us, as the rest of the week can get pretty busy. Sunday we have church in our home, so we work hard together cleaning toothpaste off sinks and mopping dog prints and such. Everyone pitches in. 

-We just sincerely love. He buys me flowers. I make him real popcorn on the stove at midnight. 

All of that said...

The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.

Psalm 126:3

And... 

I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works.

Psalm 9:1

Thank you, Jesus for this earthly gift of marriage that draws me so much closer to You, Lord. 

Thanksgiving seems like a good day to restart being purposeful in counting blessings.

I AM

Seasons of life are interesting to look back on. It's easy to learn lessons from the situations Jesus has led me through. It's easy to look back on yesterday - or an hour ago- and realize how I could have acted differently. It's easy to look back on a time and see how the hand of God was leading, stretching, protecting, pouring out His grace. But when Jesus meets me IN THE MOMENT, and reminds me that He is the I AM, I am undone. 

"Jesus... said unto them, Whom seek ye? They answered him, Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus saith unto them, I am he... They went backward, and fell to the ground."

John 18:4-6

This season is a bit busier than maybe any other season I've been through yet. That's not a bad thing. It just means I need to be purposeful and prayerful as I prioritize and manage my time. Some days that comes easy. I read my Bible, children obey for the most part, schooling goes smoothly, and Mt. Washmore at least shrinks some.

 

 

Then there are those days that are not too pretty. We'll just leave it at that. 

 

A few Friday's ago looked like the latter. Ok, I hadn't read my Bible in days, half of my kids and I were sick, and the house looked like a bomb went off. No joke, I had children (a few) doing cannon balls into half-folded laundry stacks on my bedroom floor when my husband walked in from work. Rather than remark on what his expectations may have been after a long day at work, he saw the desperation on my face, told all the kids to get in the car, and away they went to find dinner. That right there speaks volumes of the character of this man God has BLESSED me with. But that's a different story. 

So there I was with a quiet house. These days, there are usually 12 beautiful children gracing the rooms of my home. It gets loud and messy and hilarious at times. That Friday I wasn't thinking about children like Jesus thinks about children. I was exhausted, weary, and overwhelmed. Tapped out of anything else to give or strength to serve, I thought, "Maybe I should get away for a day and just be by myself. Even Jesus needed to get away from the crowds that surrounded Him. What did He do when He got away? Oh. The only time I remember Jesus getting alone was to pray. Hmm.." 

Needless to say, the flood gates holding back everything I had bottled up that week let loose and so did the well of tears. Jesus got it all in those few minutes of a silent house. 

And right there in my bathroom, as the baby's changing table I was leaning over turned into a small pool, He reminded me that He alone is the I AM. I don't need a day to myself. I need a heart that is filled up. I was empty. I'd given all I could muster up. I needed to prioritize my time, and make meeting with Him at the very top of my to-do list. He alone is the One who wants to fill me up if I'd just stop to ask Him to. A day to myself would do nothing -NOTHING- compared to five minutes in the presence of the Living God Who is and supplies all that I need for the life He has chosen for me. 

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

So once the repentance and receiving had commenced, and the flood subsided, I looked around at the disaster and decided, "Who cares?" So my lunch dishes are still stacked in the sink, children were naughty today, noses keep running, and laundry piles high. In the grand scheme of things, who cares? 

I grabbed the kickball and met the rest of my family at the field for the championship game with a new song in my heart. 

 

And it doesn't end there. My pastor preached the -exact- same message that Sunday evening that the Holy Spirit preached to me Friday in my bathroom. Because God is just good like that.
 

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

Galatians 6:9-10

A Sure Identity

There's been plenty of talk about how people choose to identify themselves. There's some drastic measures being taken to accommodate the changing culture. To be honest, I was outraged when I heard that any man -for any reason- can join my daughters and me in the ladies' room without questions being asked. Once I cooled off a bit, the Lord so faithfully reminded me of my own identity issues I've struggled with. I'm thankful that so often when I get upset about other people's decisions or certain situations, the Holy Spirit is faithful to remind me that I was once an enemy of God. And that I still fall so short from looking like Jesus.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, 

Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

A few years ago, we were missionaries living in a hut down a dirt road in Uganda. We ate bugs. We were all in. The entire time we lived in Uganda, we were treated like missionaries by Ugandans and Americans alike. Some Ugandans treated us special because of where we had come from. Some Americans treated us special because of where we had been. Jesus didn't ever call me an American or a missionary. He called me His daughter. All that time, I knew in my heart that I wasn't a missionary. I was a Christian. But coming to America would test that identity.

When we moved to America, Jesus planted us in a place where we knew no one, and no one knew us or ever even heard of us. I wanted to talk about Uganda since it was all so raw. I wanted to say goodmorning to my neighbors in Acholi. I didn't drive on the California freeway for six months because I had to re-learn how to drive. I didn't get a haircut for a year because it just felt wrong to be so pampered. Emotionally, we all were basically fine and adjusting well. But there were little things like doggy day care that made me crazy. (I'm not picking on you if you send your dog there... It was just the ultimate shocker.) All that said, we were surrounded by people who had no idea what we were talking about when we mentioned the pit latrine or the borehole or the parasites we were fighting in our guts. Looking back, I know Jesus set us up. It was time to move on.

The circumstances Jesus allows in our lives will impact how we react to different aspects of life, but will never change who we are in our Father's eyes.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right 

to become children of God, to those who believe in His name. 

John 1:12

These days, life looks much different, but temptations remain the same. No matter where I go with my children, I am literally gawked at and interrogated about the number of children that follow me like ducklings (on a good day) and call me Mommy. To be honest, I love the shock factor. It's like handing me a microphone to tell that person about my Jesus. Those wide eyes from the mom wrangling in her two year old cowboy. "How do you do it?!" Or the big smiles from the older-than-me crowd as they remember being one of the ducklings themselves. "You've got a big responsibility," they remind my oldest son.

"Are they all yours?!"
"Same mom, same dad?"
"How old are YOU?"
"Do you have any pictures of you not pregnant?"
"You must be exhausted..."
"I'm exhausted just looking at you..."
"And you're smiling?"
"One, two, three, four, five, six... Seven?!"
"Are you Mormon or Christian?"

"How many cycles did you have between these two?" (No joke. A stranger really asked that!)
"Do you homeschool?"
"Do you call them by number?"
"Are these ones twins? ... How about these ones? ... No twins?"
"What are all their ages?"
"Can I have one?"

We've heard it all. Every single time we go out anywhere. It's become normal to me to have complete strangers ask me some pretty personal questions. Since the Lord recently challenged me about my identity and sufficiency in Him alone, I have recognized the temptation to allow the role of a mom-of-many... or even the role of being a mother at all... to define me. Being a mom is my full time, 24 hour job. One day it won't be though.

Training children and managing a home with nine people under one roof- or more, if the Lord allows- has impacted that way I view lots of aspects of life. It has not changed who I am in Christ though. I am a Christian. I follow Christ. My hope is that my heart is resting solely in Christ as my firm foundation, and not the service I offer Him or the role I play in His Kingdom. That when this ministry of raising children comes to an end, I won't feel empty or lost since it's all I will have known for 30 years. It's not who I am. It's just what I do these days. I am a Christian. A Christ-follower. Dead to me, alive in Him. Nothing more or less. In this, there is contentment, joy, and peace.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day. A day when moms all over the country are showered with love and affection, flowers, and maybe even breakfast in bed. As a mom, it's a great day to be celebrated and appreciated. 

...Except the young moms who wrangle their protesting mud-pie chefs into ironed button down shirts, stuff baby girl's sausage legs into tights, miss her nap time, and drive to Grandma's house for lunch- praying to God for no tantrums, broken nicknacks, or pee pants. 

...And except for the older moms who look back on those hectic times as priceless, and now have a too-quiet home. Their adult kids don't live near by. They may get a well-meaning phone call or a card in the mail, but it's not the same. 

...And except for the moms who have lost children, or those ladies who desperately want children, and the ladies who have lost their own moms. Hiding behind the smile is a heart that cringes at the mention of Mother's Day. 

No matter where you are in life, there is a secret to having the best Mother's Day ever.

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every (wo)man that is among you, not to think of (her)self more highly than (s)he ought to think...

Romans 12:3

...Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Acts 20:35

Five years or so ago, rather than having high expectations and inevitable disappointment, I decided to see Mother's Day as "Other's Day." I looked for ways to encourage or bless other people rather than relish in "my" day. I have purposely done this every year since. By keeping my eyes on Jesus, surrendering my entitlement, and realizing the Bible is always right no matter what day of the year it is, Mother's Day has been transformed. 

So tomorrow morning, when Tyler heads to church alone, and the rest of us stay home harboring Pink Eye germs, I will -by God's grace- fold laundry and scramble eggs without expectations. And if I happen to be blessed with a construction paper card dripping with Elmer's glue, or a cup of coffee grounds and too much sugar, I will be so thankful for the little hearts that Jesus has used to teach me what it means to deny myself and walk in joy. 

Back At It

A while ago,  I wrote on this blog while living as a missionary with my husband and six children in a hut in Northern Uganda. It was quite an experience. When we moved back to America, I felt that I had nothing more to write. Living in Uganda was exciting and strange. There was a lot to write about! (All that God was doing as our family trusted Him with a grass roof housing all kinds of critters, cooking over fire, church service under a tree, home birth, sleeping under mosquito nets, malaria, pumping for water, never wearing shoes, AFRICA.) And it also gave the family and friends In America  a way of knowing what we were up to. 

Now we are "normal." We live in a normal place. I am a normal mom. My husband works a normal job. We eat normal pizza after we go to normal church. My kids watch normal Netflix on a normal couch. 

The truth is - we still serve an amazing God who continues to answer prayer and challenge and change us for His glory. And if someone can be encouraged by the good He is doing here in this normal house, I want to keep writing.

My husband Tyler and I are now living in Southern California with our seven children ages 10 months - 11 years. Tyler works an 8 to 5 job, and I am a stay at home mom homeschooling five of the seven. Some days life feels like a fairytale. Some days I feel like I am running a race through quicksand carrying a backpack of bricks. God hasn't failed me once. His grace has been more than sufficient for me.

My prayer is that by walking with Jesus, and living transparently, someone else will be encouraged while they do the same. So I will keep writing. 

A New Chapter

Brothers.
Julius (the new Pastor), Tyler, and Bismark.

Last week my bare feet were standing in the red dirt, starry night sky overhead, arms wrapped tight around Catherine's neck as we sobbed our goodbyes. We had a wonderful dinner and time of worship with a whole big lovely group of people that have changed our lives forever. The next morning, many of them were there at our car to see us off. Saying goodbye to this African family of ours might have been the most difficult thing Tyler or I has ever had to do. After the ladies shouted to The Lord, "iye iye iye iye" loud enough for people to hear a mile away, and we drove down our grass-taller-than-the- car driveway for the last time in this chapter of our lives, I felt as though a piece of my heart was ripped right out of my chest and left there in that village. There are no words to express the love I have for that beautiful community. I miss them like crazy. I hope The Lord allows my heart to be forever changed by the way He has shown us what love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control can look like. I will thank God for the gift of Uganda for the rest of my life.

Our driveway a few months ago.
The grass is now up above the window.

Our initial plan was to load all of our 15 pieces of luggage and the eight of us onto the bus for the 10 hour trip south to the capitol, Kampala, which is near the airport. Since the bus isn't the safest or most reliable mode of transportation, some close missionary friends of ours offered to drive us down in their Rav4. (A five-passenger vehicle with a decent sized trunk to squeeze three kids into.) So we got our luggage onto the bus, and the ten of us endured the dusty, awful roads. Only once did we hit the hidden speed bumps, causing a few kids to go flying. Once we finally arrived at the guest house in Kampala, we rested there for three days before venturing out on the three flight, 26 hour trek over the ocean. And can you imagine what it looked like going through security (twice) with six children, thirteen bins, a tent and a giant backpack... Explaining to Ugandans that our meat grinder is not a bomb? Or how about our parade of a family running in shorts and a broken flip flop outside in freezing Philadelphia? Haha or when Tyler franticall yelled in a crowd of people, "Where is Elisabeth?" while she was sitting on his shoulders. Truly, the entire journey was flawless. The kids all did AMAZING on those long flights. They all - even our one year old, Sam - sat in their seats, played quietly, watched some movies, and ate middle eastern airplane food with happy hearts like children who have been fervently prayed over by hundreds of people. (And we PRAISE God for answered prayer, and each one of you who have been so faithful to pray for us!)

First snow!
These girls actually had snow with
orange juice on top for breakfast.

So now here we are! When we first drove away from the airport, it was shocking how smooth the roads were and how fast we seemed to be driving. I was surprised at how comfy couches and beds are here, how clean and bright everything is, and how good it is to hug your family. Elisabeth commented on how pretty the fluffy crops were in that garden... The weeds growing in the grass beside the highway. Lilah has not stopped asking me every time she is introduced to new water... The bathtub, the kitchen sink, the bathroom sink, etc. if it's borehole water. I didn't realize how concious she was about not letting unfiltered water in her eyes or mouth. I guess we were pretty strict on that one. Each of the kids spent about an hour in the WARM bath for the first time. The younger three didn't know about cake until my brother's birthday the other day. Tyler and I enjoyed our first date in over two years last night. Napkins, freezers, stairs, dishwashers, tissues, hand towels, ice cubes, kitchen tables, washing machines, garages, kitchen cupboards, forks, fragile nick-nacks, car seats, flushing toilets, and this freezing cold weather are all foreign to most of our children. Each of the four younger children fell down within thirty seconds of wearing socks on hardwood floors. The public restrooms were hilarious in the airports. Lilah asked if the toilet was the pit latrine. The water, soap, paper towels, and hand dryers all turn on by themselves. We spent some time in there during layovers. :) The boys enjoyed the first Syracuse snowfall while playing in Grandma's backyard in shorts and hoodies. After a hot shower, mascara, and blow drier, I felt like I went to a spa for the day.  And food... Well... We'll just say we're really enjoying the food.

There are many aspects of life here in America where The Lord is challenging us to be different. Different from the world because the Bible encourages that, but also different from the way we used to live here. We have been SCHOOLED in unconditional love and hospitality in a way that changes lives. We have seen the fruit of a life of ministry. Welcoming a knock at the door at 10pm for biblical counsel requires a bit of sacrifice, but it speaks real loud. Would Jesus have that man make an appointment? We have seen what opening our meager kitchen and humble hut has done in a culture that is used to it. We are excited to see what The Lord will do in a place where it's not so normal.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 12:1-2

That being said, we have been spending time in serious prayer about where The Lord wants to plant us. We have this fresh clean slate and willingness to serve wherever He wants us. So... More big news... After Christmas we are uprooting again, and settling into Southern California. Talk about out of place in a new culture! Tyler has had a few job offers, and had late night interviews using solar lanterns over Skype. (Who gets a FEW job offers while living in a hut in Uganda? God is amazing.)

So those of you that have been praying, thank you. THANK YOU. We know your prayers have directly affected the blessing on our lives. And for those of you wanting to give, a HUGE thank you again. We are now loaded with kids' clothes, snow pants, boots, etc. We are not able to take much more than we have right now out to California with us, so any funds will help us get beds, mattresses, kitchen table, and all that. We ask you to continue praying for our friends there in Uganda, and for us as we continue on in this pilgrimage through this planet full of people needing Jesus. 

Our last day in Uganda.

Bittersweet

In the dark, behind the mosquito net, after prayers and during the round of goodnight hugs and kisses, I hear between sobs, "Mommy, please. Don't let another puppy die tonight." Ugh. If that's not enough to tear my heart right out, I don't know what is. Our German Shepherd gave birth to nine fluff balls at the end of May. Although messy and demanding at first, they have been so loved by all. They've survived the love (abuse) of three kids three years old and under. They made it through thunder storms outside - one that knocked down 20 papaya tress in one night. They were fat little happy buddies that could chew a flip flop like nobody's business. Unfortunately, we didn't deworm them in time to save them all. Apparently, they needed the medicine earlier in life than a dog living in a house in America. We didn't take the dirt life into consideration. So... After watching them all begin to fade and stop eating, we dewormed them, and I did my rounds three times a day with kids chewable antibiotics and a rehydration drink I squirted into their clamped mouths with a baby aspirator. Five of them died, but Jesus, my veterinary assistant Jonah, and I were able to save four.

That same week, our boy pig, Wilbur, wrapped himself too tightly around the tree he was tied to, and died. A few days later, the female pig, Charlotte, got a pretty serious virus. She stopped eating, so Tyler decided to give her the rehydration drink that I was giving the puppies. Her muscles were all giving out, so she choked on the drink and died. 

I walked back from the pig house praying, "Lord, what are You doing? This just seems to be beyond coincidence." I told Jonah the second pig died, and he said out of desperation, "What is going on around here? What is The Lord doing?" Tyler came back from the pig house a while later. He said, "The Lord is doing something with all of these animals. In all of our best intentions and efforts, we choked that pig to death." 

Animals here in Uganda represent money and security. In all of our best intentions and efforts, we have been trying to offer a way for our friends to make good money and be secure. And in doing so... we are doing some damage. We don't give out a TON of free handouts, but we do share what we have. If they need something in town, rather than walk an hour there and back, they go when Tyler is heading that way in the car. When their kids are sick, we give them medicine. We have a free "clinic" here where we wrap boo boos and hand out ibuprofen at least once a week. Yes, teaching them the Scriptures and spreading the Gospel come first. But there are so many simple physical needs that we can easily meet. So we do. But without destructive details, we're noticing that our influence and help is doing a great disservice to their hearts. I mentioned in the past that we have been attempting to get our employees off of depending on a salary from us. We have been working diligently to allow this to happen.

Not only financially, but more importantly, spiritually speaking, we are noticing the same effects. We are not "title" people, but for the sake of clarity, I am about to use titles and positions... Bear with me. Two years ago, there was a great need for a firm foundation around here. So, there was an American senior pastor, an American youth pastor, an American women's ministry leader, an American Sunday school director, three American Sunday school teachers, and an American teaching the village outreaches. Julius has always been the worship leader. ;) Except for the senior pastor position, one by one, The Lord has removed each American from those positions and has replaced them with a strong, discipled Ugandan. AND THEY ARE DOING AWESOME! They needed a firm foundation, and now they are strong. They are able to minister to their people so much more effectively than we could ever dream of doing. 

In order to not choke out the great fruit the is blooming right now, we need to be removed from the picture also. All of our "help" is hindering their growth. Tyler has been in bed for two weeks now, unable to stand. He is super weak, and weighs 115 dripping wet. The Lord has knocked him down to prove He doesn't need Tyler. (He is recovering-by the way.)

So, after much labored prayer and consideration, we believe The Lord is removing us from this beautiful sanctuary He has created and graciously allowed us to be a part of. We will be coming back to the States before Christmas... Hopefully before Thanksgiving.

I'm doing my best not to stress about the homeschooling as this is a major change that will affect our schedule. And if we end up 4 months behind in school... in the grand scheme of things... we will be just fine. Just had to add that for when I look back and read this in a couple weeks when I'm freaking out and trying to remember why on Earth we just flew over the ocean with six exhausted kids that are puking from bacteria they have never been introduced to. Then I will realize that it's a-ok to not have it all together, especially pregnant with our seventh blessing. (Yes. That's an official announcement too. Ha! We are just overwhelmed with good news these days!)

Of course we have considered the unknowns. Will the church continue in our absence? What about the 50 kids that meet under a tree every Thursday to hear about Jesus? Will someone continue going or will it be too much of a sacrifice to get to that tree? What about Catherine? Bismark and Julius have land to farm, but she has none. Will Bismark continue to let her use his? What about us? We are a family of eight (soon to be nine) with no house, no car, no job. What will The Lord have us to do now? I have realized that none of that is of my concern. My only concern is to walk in obedience to my God. So in confidence, I put all of my questions and worry into His hands knowing that His ways are far above mine. And He loves these Ugandans who have become like family much more than I ever could.

So there's our big news. We will be staying with my mom (imagine how excited Grandma is!) in Syracuse for a while until we get our heads on straight and get used to flushing a toilet and driving on the right side of paved roads again. (Woah, I haven't driven a car in a really really really long time. And car seats... I foresee much toddler objection.) Thankfully, Tyler's parents live 5 minutes from my mom, so we can share our time pretty easily. We plan to visit some saints that have been so faithful to pray for us. If you have any questions or anything you don't want posted in the comments, you can always email either one of us.

Thanks for your prayers. Not sure what The Lord will do next, but I wouldn't have traded this experience for all this world can offer. Uganda has been the best gift any of us could have received. I have learned to be content and thankful with much or little, and 1/2 cup full of sesame seeds for breakfast is better than an empty cup. I have learned that programs and retreats are great, but lasting spiritual fruit comes from purposeful discipleship, and unconditionally loving one person at a time. I have learned that time spent with the ones you love should never ever ever be taken for granted. I have learned that those most humble worship Jesus in most sincerely. I have learned that no language, skin color, past sin, economic status, age, gender, nationality, tribe or culture can stop the fellowship of the Holy Spirit between believers. I have learned that philosophical debate between born-again believers only causes unnecessary division, and the gospel of Jesus is simple and rich and enough. I have learned much by quietly observing, and most people who want my opinion will ask. I have learned that I can change no one. Change is completely up to The Lord. I have learned that worshipping in your own language is precious and priceless. I have learned to not lean on my own understanding, but to trust in The Lord and acknowledge Him, for He HAS made my path straight. I have learned that God will in fact be my refuge and strength, as He has seen us through many times of trouble. I have learned that if humble believers pray and seek The Lord, He will forgive their sins and heal their land. I have learned that God is faithful to stand true to every single one of His promises that He promised in the whole big Bible. And I have learned that I am nothing without Him.

Just Breathe

One of the most important things we do here in Uganda is build relationships in order to draw nearer to Jesus together. One of the most important things anyone in any patch of the globe is just that. There are a handful of people that stand out to me as solid, strong, steady people. I'm sure they don't feel that way much of the time, but their lives simply shine Jesus. Caroline is one of those people. Between the two of us, caring for our homes, husbands, and collective 11 children can make for a busy day. We rarely get time alone to sit down and talk. We find quality time by sneaking away to take tea together in the laundry room, or a short chat over tomatoes being diced. About a year ago, she said with tears in her eyes, "I never knew I could be close like a sister to a muno."

When she went to the clinic and found that the daily nausea was not from Typhoid, but a new baby, we ALL rejoiced. I was able to use some of the supplies I had from my last pregnancy to help her. I checked her baby's heartbeat every couple of weeks with my doppler, gave her my prenatal vitamins, checked her blood pressure, and prayed for the birth and life of this new little somebody every Monday night at our women's prayer group. But when she asked me to attend the birth, I was blown away. Me? I can read numbers on a blood pressure cuff and look them up on Google, but I don't really know what I'm doing... especially delivering a baby. But hey, Tyler did it before, right?

Days came and passed. Her due date was long gone. We went to town for "drive-thru" dinner that consisted of popcorn, peanuts and yogurt - all found at different stores throughout the town. When we arrived back home an hour later, Julius came walking right up to the car before any of us got out. He wasn't home when Caroline's pain got serious enough for her to say something about it, and she left on a motorcycle taxi for the hospital! I grabbed a backpack, threw a solar lantern in it in case power was out at the hospital, a giant water bottle, and my ipad because my camera battery was dead.

We were driving in the dark when I noticed a backpack that looked just like mine, and realized it was Catherine wearing my backpack. Caroline was in front of her, dressed to a T, riding behind the driver. We paid the "boda" (taxi) man, and zoomed her the rest of the way to the hospital.

Upon arrival, the nurses got Caroline settled in a laboring room, which had only a wooden stool, a square bed a little smaller than Sam's crib, and a garbage can overflowing from the last patient who apparently needed an IV, as the tubing was hanging out of the top. A sheer sheet separated her room from the "NICU" where two teeny babies laid under heat lamps fighting for each breath.

The nurses insisted Caroline drink this really sweet tea that made her gag. They said it would lessen her pain and make the baby come quicker. She couldn't choke it down. I told her the truth. No tea in the world can make labor pain go away or make a baby come quicker. I considered the dirty water it was made from, hoped it was boiled for a while and didn't include any weird tinctures, and drank it for her when the nurses walked away so they would leave her alone. Maybe not the most honest thing to do, but come on...

Caroline was doing great and staying under control. It was my first time seeing someone else trying with all her might to relax in spite of agony. My first time holding the hand trying to squeeze the pain out through her fingertips. One deep breath in, and in rhythm breathing out, "Yecu, Yecu." (Jesus) I couldn't have been more honored than to be crouched down with her on that concrete floor encouraging my friend to just keep going. Just keep breathing.

Isn't that what our job is? All of us? To find someone to encourage, allow them to squeeze our hand tight, and remind them to just keep going. Take a big breath in, and breathe out Jesus, and it will all be worth it if you just hang on a little longer.

In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

John 16:33b

 ...Encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Catherine was there too since she went along for the ride on the motorcycle. She was really helpful for translation and hospitality. The Lord put together a great team that night. I could hear a doctor speaking English over by the babies under the lamps. She was talking about how necessary oxygen is for the brain... the first breath can bring fluid to the lungs... I couldn't make out much of what she was saying. I was praying the Lord would just breathe life into those teeny ones. A while later, Catherine whispered, "That baby just died." I heard the doctor say they needed to get the mom. A few minutes later, the young momma entered the room... you can imagine the cries... 

How can I process this right now? Jesus? I'm not okay now. How can Caroline process this? I've never seen Julius look so scared. I could hear Catherine sniffling in the corner of the room. I didn't dare look at her or I knew I would lose it. And then all of a sudden, it was as if my emotion switch was turned off, and the Lord pushed me into GO mode, I looked Caroline in the eyes, who was nearing the end, and looking desperate. I said, "We're here right now. Focus on what you're doing. Jesus is here, and you're about to meet your new baby. Let's keep going." And from there on out, she was golden.

At one point five nurses were in the room drilling me with questions. At first they didn't believe me that I had six children. But when Catherine convinced them it was true, one nurse said, "Do white ladies go through this pain in childbirth too?" It's amazing how much of a divide there is. Before I could even answer, Catherine said, "The only thing different is her skin. Our blood is the same. Everything else is the same." They asked me if Americans all deliver their babies under water since they heard that somewhere. And how do they find a big enough basin? One of the nurses explained it must be something like a swimming pool... 

They yelled at Caroline some more about not drinking all of her tea (oops), and she better not lay down or she would fall asleep, and finally a beautiful little lady graced us with her long awaited presence. And she is perfect. 

Julius said nurses usually yell at the laboring moms and slap them if they cry out. They were so kind to Caroline because they could see my example. He said he hasn't seen someone ever do such a kind thing for his wife, and that is why they will name their baby Jennifer. WHHHAAAT??? All I did was hold her hand and let her rub her sweaty forehead on mine. And for that I get a namesake baby? Ahhh.. I am blown away. Humbled and blessed beyond words.

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised.

Psalm 48:1

A Sliver of Our Lives

And now... after two silent-but-not-so-quiet months... SHE'S BACK! A whole real lot has happened in the silence away from blogging. Not a boring day has passed by since we moved here to Uganda. I guess it's a bit overwhelming to try to catch up on everything. So if this is a bit scrambled, forgive me. I hope you can put the pieces together.

First off: The Home Front. We have been blessed with a steady flow of visitors for quite some time now. Tyler's mom was with us for three months, and went back mid-June. In the past year, we have been without visitors for only one month - last December. So we've been enjoying having our big little family all to ourselves, but it's taken a little bit of adjusting. We now have a schedule with expected morning and evening CHORES (yay!). Rather than having me say "brush your teeth" 5 times over again, and find someone to put away the toothbrushes once everyone is finally finished, and before a lizard poops on them, it just happens now... most days anyway. School includes the kids and I going for a morning walk to visit the pigs and sheep and chickens and allow Sam to give the rooster a nice "er-er-er-er-roooo" (because they clearly don't say "cock-a-doodle-doo"). The girls pick flowers all the way, and collect weeds to feed the pigs, while the boys race our fierce guard dog who would never allow us to walk alone. We do all this before sitting down and memorizing... "Keep your sticks outside the door. Six times four is twenty four" because our brains are ready to work once we soak up a bit of sunshine and laugh a bit.

I just said to Tyler, "I feel like all that I just wrote is just one giant run-on sentence." He replied, "So have the past two months." I'll just keep going. :)

The Ministry Side of Things: Wow! We did not expect things to be sailing so smoothly. The outreach in Palabek is simply blessed. Of all that we are doing, this is the place where we can really see the Holy Spirit moving in a beautiful way in the hearts of the people out there. People are surrendering their lives to Christ in a real way every week. The Lord is using Julius to teach the Bible in a simple way to a group of farmers. Last week, two men said YES. They want Jesus as The Lord over their lives. Then for two hours, they asked Julius and Bismark a thousand questions about what they believe. One of the men was asking about forgiveness of sins. Is there anything that God would not forgive? Can a person do something so terribly wrong that God would refuse to hear his prayers and wash him clean? He had a boy with him suffering from Nodding Disease. Nodding Disease is a mystery up here in Northern Uganda. No one knows what the cause or treatment is, but whole villages of kids have this fatal disease. The man wanted to know if he could be forgiven for offering sacrifices involving bloodshed in order to heal the boy. Witchcraft is real. Many times, even Christians will resort to evil practices out of desperation. And they assured him, that when someone comes to Jesus with a repentant heart, He hears their prayers and will forgive. He then asked for prayer for this young boy that was with him. Pray along with us for these men? The sick young boy and the older man desperate for Jesus. 

Palabek is a sweet place of restoration and new beginning. The Lord has given Tyler wisdom in how to use the land there to get all of our paid employees off of salary and onto managing farms. We will not be able to support a band of workers for the rest of their lives. So... When we stop... Then what? Tyler has been getting pretty sweaty and dirty these past few months in order to show our friends how to support themselves for the rest of their lives. The land in Palabek is so beautifully fertile, that the crops they all planted this past year are expected to bring in a five fold harvest. We've made plenty of mistakes, but we've learned from them. For example, now we know that sunflowers don't bring in enough oil to make it worth banging out all those seeds. Our friends are catching the vision and seeing the money to be made in farming, and they are now making their own investments in small plots of land. 

So there is a teeny sliver of what's been going on around here. I want to tell you all about how CRAYONS have made a huge impact in the Sunday school, and our nine puppies that have taken over the whole stinky property, and how I have just recently questioned everything I ever believed in and came up with the fact that Jesus was amazingly faithful to meet me right there in that empty dusty hut with a whining baby on my back and remind me of His unfailing love. Ah, and pictures. I want to add pictures to this post. But you know what? It's after midnight. If I do all that, I won't post this for another week or month or year... so here we go... Maybe the next one will have pictures for those of you who are like Tyler and only read captions. ;) Until then, thanks for bearing with me and praying alongside. 

Village Ministry

The seasons are changing. I'm not talking about the rain that we should  be seeing this time of year, or the blazing sun that is burning up the crops that were planted a month or so ago as we anticipated rainy reason. Nope. I'm talking about this season in ministry. The seasons are changing by the hand of God.

We have been busy for a year now building huts for the people that The Lord has raised up to join our team. Living together has made such an impact on the relationships we have with those people we are investing in. So, after building huts for Catherine's and Bismark's families, a guest hut for the steady flow of visitors we've had (thank you Jesus), and an "eating hut" for lunches, morning devotions, and Friday night Bible studies, there is no need for more construction.

Tyler said something like this a few months ago, "We are like David now. He saw that his house was beautiful, but The Lord dwelt in a tent before building the temple. It is now time to go out and spend concentrated time building the Lord's Church." So after a time of being refreshed by some sweet visitors,  that is what we've been up to around here.

Now it came to pass, as David sat in his house, that David said to Nathan the prophet, Lo, I dwell in an house of cedars, but the ark of the covenant of the Lord remaineth under curtains. Then Nathan said unto David, Do all that is in thine heart; for God is with thee.

1 Chronicles 17:1-2

Let me rewind a bit to give you a full picture of this redemption story...

For almost 30 years, Uganda lived in fear of "the rebels," or the LRA. It was an evil ragtag group of men and children with guns that walked from village to village throughout the country looking for a chance to do the most unimaginable evil things to anyone they could find. The Ugandan government heavily protected the south, and lightly protected major cities in the north. Anyone outside of a city in the north was in serious danger. Bismark's father was killed, but by THE GRACE OF GOD, his pregnant mother, older brother, and himself we all spared. They fled to a refugee camp where they lived on top of thousands of other people hiding for their lives. The three brothers and all of the rest of the kids in the camp were escorted to school and back every day by an armed guard. While they hid in the camp, the rebels severely ransacked that whole land called Palabek until about 2009.

A major problem with living in a camp for all of those years is there is seemingly no way out. Bismark's mom was stuck. She had no husband, no job, no home to go back to. Bismark helped her as much as he was able to, and Tyler stepped in when he saw the need. Together, they fixed up "Mama Bismark's" hut, and built her a strong wooden door rather than a flimsy tin one. Bismark's brothers also moved back to the village with her. The land in Palabek is beautifully fertile, and this family owns 200 acres! Tyler helped them to prepare a few acres of the land, and gave his brother, Martin, cassava seeds to plant as a cash crop.

Land has been untouched for generations.

Booming Cassava Plants!

Martin, Bismark's brother, is the guy on the right wearing the brown sweatshirt.
(Even thought was about 120 degrees in the sun that day.)

We went out there a few weeks ago as a family. A few guys were driving the bulls when we got there to plow up some more land. Micah, our nine year old, jumped right in on that job! 

Tyler and our friend Julius brought axes and hoes to begin clearing out more of "the bush" as they expand the farm to plant "G-nuts" (like peanuts) and beans. Tyler said that when they harvest the cassava in October, they expect to bring in seven times the amount of money that was initially invested in this land! Apparently, the lack of rain hasn't bothered their hearty cassava plants like it did to our frail field greens. They plan to just continue to expand the farm a little bit at a time. Awesome, huh?

Clearing the Bush

Jonah doing Man Work.

Samuel and Matidi playing with a
much desired empty container.

Caroline preparing tea on the outdoor fire.

All the Littles and me.

The hut behind Concy is the kitchen.
Notice the door is about as tall as my five year old.
I could only stand to be in there just a few minutes
 because of the amount of smoke inside.

That's not all... While Tyler and Julius were clearing out the land, and sweating like they didn't know was even humanly possible, Bismark was gone. They questioned where he was, but just continued. When they got back, Bismark was just arriving back to the hut too. He walked for two hours or so inviting people in the surrounding villages to come for a Bible study that afternoon! This is not his nature. Bismark is a quiet, shy guy who doesn't say a peep unless you initiate the conversation. The Lord told him to go, and he was obedient. The thing is, there are not many people out there. You have to walk about 10 minutes in order to reach the next hut. The attitude of our team is this, "We know this effort will never amount to a large church. There are not enough people living out there to even have a building. But Jesus died for them. He thinks they are worth this sacrifice, so we do too."

Tyler and some of the guys that have been working the field "taking tea."
(Tea time takes place just about every day around 10am.)
 Bismark is on the middle right with the white shirt.

A few hours later, people started arriving. 20 people came! There were 3 people there the week before. Tyler was planning to teach, but when he saw the group of Acholis, he made the decision to have Julius teach without translation. We sat in the dirt and washed our hands the traditional way with a basin and a water pitcher. We PRAYED A BLESSING over our food, and ate beans and posho and rabbit with our hands while speaking the little bit of Acholi we know to greet our new friends. Imagine eating a bowl of beans with your fingers... and with six little kids trying to do the same...we were a bit messy. We didn't expect so many people, but it was like Jesus feeding the 5000. We had too much! The Lord blows me away.

Washing dishes: Use the pot of water on the ground, and sun-dry up on the top.
I didn't get a picture of the chickens up on top with dishes or the goat that  ran away with the soap...

Catherine cooking inside the kitchen.
Bismark's mom was with someone in the hospital
that day, so I don't have any pictures of her.

After we were finished eating, Julius taught John 3. Halfway through the Bible study, it began to rain. Everyone picked up the mats they were seated on, and piled into Mama Bismark's 8-foot-in-diameter empty hut. With 30 people all squished in, Bismark's brother, Martin, accepted The Lord along with another man. Right now as I type this, they are all out there in Palabek doing the same thing. I'm praying for much increase in the crops... But more for the increase of souls welcomed to the Kingdom by taking Jesus' gift of salvation he offered to all of us on the cross.

We go as a group to Palabek every Tuesday. We bring all of our own food, soap, jerry cans of water, tea, sugar, everything. On Mondays, The Lord is leading us to do the same thing in a village called Michwini. Our friend Walter's family owns land there. It is about a 20 minute drive to get there. The family is just now returning to their land to plant crops also. Walter is a pretty successful shop keeper, and a very wise businessman... At the ripe age of 20-something. He is dead serious about the things of God. Although alcohol is a top seller around here, he refuses to sell it in his shop. He arrives to church before anyone else to set up the chairs under the mango tree and hang up our cloth Calvary Chapel Kitgum banner out by the road every Sunday. He has asked for no help other than to bring the gospel to his village. This is remarkable since we oftentimes have people waiting outside our door begging for anything we will hand out... And here we are wanting to help him in any way we can!

Walter's untouched land in Michwini.

Thursdays we are continuing meeting in Lakwor with Momma Esther and her family. Julius was getting discouraged because there were only 3 people coming. He purposed to remain faithful as he confessed his discouragement to The Lord. The next week... 16 people including a demon possessed girl and her family came desperate for Biblical counsel!

Friday we have a home study with our surrounding neighbors, and Sunday mornings we continue to meet in the town center in Kitgum, ten minutes from our home.

Potty training continues - even in Palabek.

Needless to say, we're busy. As the mommy, I don't travel to all of that. I stay home and cook over fire, and potty train and homeschool four different grades, and bounce a baby who has slept through the night THREE times in his 11 1/2 months of life outside the womb, who loves to "cock-a-doodle-doo" at the roosters before the sun comes up. I wouldn't trade this messy, exhausting, sweaty, glorious life for all the riches and fame in the world. It is good to be in the center of God's will. It is good to free up my husband to run ragged and spend and be spent for the gospel. It is good to live this life of surrender because Jesus is worth every ounce of anything we are able to give.

*Update: Before posting this, Tyler and the crew came back from Palabek. 50 people showed up today. I asked Bismark if there are even that many people in the surrounding area. He said, "No. They came (walked) from far." Glory to God.